We pulled Raynen out of therapy in September and we have decided to keep her out for the time being. I have heard so many testimonies about therapy working and mamas who've seen their children blossom under professional guidance. But for some reason that's not our story. Not yet anyways. Maybe someday.
When we started they told me to stop teaching her sign language so we did. And I watched her get angrier and angrier- lashing out and getting physical. After 6 months I reintroduced ASL and she soaked it up like a sponge and was calmer within a week. Her fits and outbursts decreased so fast I couldn't deny the correlation. In the year and a half we were in therapy, she did start saying mama and dada. And those days were beautiful ones. But after being out for a while she has started making all kinds of new sounds and continues progressing so quickly and happily I can't deny the correlation there either.
Baba. Nana (for banana) Me. Pees (for please) Ooos (for juice) Moo. Ooo ooo ahh ahh (like a monkey) Eeeee (when she wants to brush her teeth) Fa. Tee. Doe. (because we've been watching "The Sound of Music" 😊) Moe (more) NyNy (nigh-night)
And that's not all the sounds I've heard. And more than that, she's TRYING. The amount of communicating that is happening is astounding me. Three sessions every week and all I watched her do was shut down. Frustrated. Angry. Stubborn. Exasperated. I thought maybe we needed to push through. Soldier on past the bad parts and eventually she would have this moment of breakthrough. But it didn't come.
So for now, it's me. I'm dish washer, food maker, laundry-doer, fort builder, bath giver, boo-boo kisser, picture taker, book reader, and therapist.
It's exhausting. And beautiful. And motherhood is breathtaking. And scary. And I've never doubted myself and trusted myself so much at the same time. And I've never wanted to do anything so right.
And I can't wait until the day her and I sing together... But in the meantime, I'm soaking up the sound of her laughter. #finding_raynensvoice